Somehow, like so many others, you missed all the signs during the courting process that you were dating a narcissist. But several years into the marriage, you are no longer able to put up with their unhealthy behavior patterns.
It’s not easy to divorce a narcissist. But, about the only thing harder is to remain unhappily married to one, so it’s good to finally get to this point. If you are unsure about what to do next, the following five tips may prove useful when divorcing your narcissistic spouse.
1. They will fight dirty
While divorce has the propensity to bring out the worst in even the most pleasant individuals, with a narcissist, all holds are barred. The kids, any skeletons from your closet, your perceived parental failings are all fair game to be manipulated and put on blast in your divorce. Be prepared to acquire a thicker skin.
2. You and the kids are but a pawn in their games
Because narcissists are incapable of forming healthy, loving relationships, they tend to view their partners, spouses and children as a means to their ends. Power trips and one-upsmanship are simply amusing games for them to play. When the collateral damage decimates their families, they simply move on.
3. They enjoy court battles
Most people go out of their way to avoid litigating a messy divorce in court. Not the narcissist, however. Often, they will act as their own attorneys to allow them to remain more in the spotlight. But you can count on them to delay, obfuscate and falsely accuse at every juncture simply to delay the inevitable resolution a little longer.
4. They keep moving the goal posts
Think you might have finally won a courtroom skirmish? Don’t be too sure, as now they have a dozen different objections to the ruling that will see your issues meandering through the appellate process for many more weeks. It’s enough to make you believe that there will be no end to this.
5. They go to great lengths to fool people about their true nature
Don’t be shocked if they appear to win over the judge, the court stenographer or even your own legal counsel. These folks are master manipulators. But as P.T. Barnum once famously said, “You can fool some of the people all the time, and all the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”
Yet, you can expect that the narcissist will attempt to do just that, pulling out all the stops to try to make you look irrational while always painting themselves in the best possible light.
It’s not easy to divorce a narcissist, to be sure. But it is even harder to remain married to one. Focus on following the good advice of your Lake Zurich family law attorney and soon you will be free of the shackles that bind you to your unhealthy marriage.