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Men break up with women, but women divorce men

If your opposite-sex relationship ends, who do you think is going to end it, you or your significant other? Some of it may just depend on your gender. However, studies have shown that the type of relationship — or when in your relationship you break up — also plays a significant role in which gender will initiate it.

Dating or married?

In short, if the two of you are just dating, it is more common for the relationship to end because the man wants it to end. Men tend to initiate the breakups more often. Obviously, there are plenty of counters to this example, but that’s the overall trend that researchers have found.

However, if the two of you are married, then things switch. Men do not ask for a divorce as often. Women are the ones who tend to initiate it the most. So, while gender does play a role here, the biggest question may just be whether or not you got married already. It could determine whether or not you or your significant other are more likely to end things.

Why does this happen?

You may be wondering why this happens, and one reason experts have pointed out is that the ups and downs that naturally come along with the marriage often do not register with men the same way that they do with women. Women are more sensitive to these changes and spend more time thinking about them.

This could explain why a husband may think that everything is fine. He also knows there are ups and downs, but he rarely thinks about them and he does not think they’re a big deal. His wife, on the other hand, thinks about them often and feels like they’re a huge detriment to the marriage. She may wind up asking for a divorce before her husband even understands the seriousness of the situation.

The recovery time

One thing women should keep in mind, these experts claim, is the recovery time. It can take a lot longer for a woman to get over the divorce and move forward with her life if her husband initiated it. If she was the one who initiated it, that recovery tends to happen faster and it’s easier for her. It can even make her feel empowered and in control of her own life.

Taking that step

Again, these are just general trends. Your relationship may not perfectly fit the mold. That’s all right. The key is just to know as much as you can about your legal rights and your options when you decide to take that next step and end your marriage.