Susan E. Kamman & Associates
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6 cases when you should definitely divorce

No divorced spouse in Lake Zurich will tell you that the process of separating from a spouse is easy. Many of them will tell you that they were happier and more confident with themselves in the long-run, but they will rarely tell you that divorce was an enjoyable experience.

Divorced spouses -- if they were the ones who made the decision to end their marriage -- will also tell you that it was an extremely difficult choice to make. In fact, some people debate for years about whether they should end their marriages. If you're experiencing a back-and-forth dialog about your decision to divorce, this is normal.

When can you know with certainty that divorce is necessary?

There are some cases when no debate is required. In these situations, divorce is a certainty, and those who are in these situations -- but stay in a toxic relationship anyway -- are creating a dangerous situation for themselves and their children. Here are six circumstances where you don't even have to think about it. Get a divorce if one of the following situations applies to your marriage:

Controlling behavior: When one spouse tries to control the other spouse's friends, behaviors, finances or other activities through the use of anger, threats, excess criticism or emotional abuse -- and the spouse will not stop or get help with stopping -- it's time for the relationship to end, right now.

Addictive behaviors: If one spouse has a history with alcohol abuse, drug abuse, gambling, or other addictive behaviors that harm the family -- and he or she will not get help with stopping -- it's time for the relationship to end.

Repeated infidelity: When one spouse commits infidelity repeatedly or has an ongoing affair and doesn't want to change, the other spouse should terminate the relationship as soon as possible.

Mistreatment of the children: If one spouse is verbally abusive, physically violent or inappropriately sexual toward any children in the family, the spouse must be removed from the home immediately -- or the children must be removed from contact with the spouse. This would also be a good time to file for divorce.

Physical violence: If one spouse is being violent toward the other spouse, there are no excuses here either. This is not a healthy marriage, and unless the violently-acting spouse gets psychological help, there is no hope for this marriage. It's best to distance oneself, possibly file a restraining order, and file for divorce in these circumstances.

Unchecked mental disorders: Mental disorders can cause a lot of damage within a family and it's sad whenever one spouse is suffering from such a condition. However, spouses must take action to protect the physical and emotional safety of themselves and their children. Don't feel bad if you need to file for divorce in order to protect your family from a mentally ill spouse.

Are you ready to explore your options for divorce?

No one ever signs up for marriage believing that they will need to deal with any of the above circumstances. If you are suffering in an abusive relationship like one described above -- or another kind of situation -- take action to protect yourself and your family. Explore your options for divorce and proceed accordingly.

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